The first blog post. Frightening. Alarming…Will I try to spew something intellectual that will just sound as if I’m illiterate and end up having no merit on society? Will I be judged tremendously by a grammar nazi? Probably. In fact, I’m quite sure. You see, I scored this sweet little label Bipolar Schizoaffective (insert sarcasmic obscenity) …A bunch of scary sounding words with a collection of drugs to “make me healthy”… I have a scattered way of thinking. Mucho randomness. I see and hear things that aren’t real. The almost constant highs and lows. Suicidal thoughts, plans, intentions. I’m a cutter. It’s the best and easiest thing that helps me. Not all of us are the same but, we all suffer through it.
So, this is what my blog will center around. Mental Illness and me. I am not only mentally ill, but I am a traveler, a foodie, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, but not so much a friend. I’ve cut off everyone since I’ve moved and I really don’t care to get to know anyone from here. I will work on self-care and just be a productive member of society. I will utilize this blog to live out this part of life separately. To vent. To breathe. To just live. Unmedicated. Where I can totally be myself without repercussions.